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GUYS, MINI-RECOVERY WIN Oggi è il compleanno di mia madre, mio padre voleva portarci a cena in pizzeria ma ero troppo spaventata per mangiare la pizza, quindi loro si sono presi due pizze ed io ho mangiato le mie cose. Sensi di colpa a mille per aver dato l'ennesima delusione ai miei. PERÒ dopo cena c'era la torta, (che abbiamo preparato io e mamma questo pomeriggio) e CON TANTA DIFFICOLTÀ, sono riuscita ad assaggiarne un pezzo per fare felice mia madre, che ha pianto dalla gioia! I miei genitori mi hanno incoraggiata a finire la fetta, ma le voci urlavano fortissimo, quindi mi sono fermata solo all'assaggio...mi conosco benissimo, so che domani mattina avrei ristretto a causa di quella fetta. So che avrei avuto i sensi di colpa tutta la notte ed il giorno seguente. So che non avrei dormito ed avrei pianto. Tanto. Questa sera hai vinto, Anoressia, ma non credere che sarà così ancora per molto. Prima o poi arriverà il giorno in cui ti prenderò a calci in culo per bene, e farà un male cane, puttana. (Pardon~)

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Hello hello Bon début de semaine pour vous ? , Moi perso j'ai eu 9h de cour aujourd'hui donc assez fatiguée se soir en plus j'avais la masse de devoir Mais sinon la journée à été plutôt bonne mis à part que j'ai du courir sous la pluie se matin car j'etait trop en retard, forcément à cause que j'ai mis 4 ans à prendre mon petit dej Et voilà place au nightsnack avant d'aller se coucher, je me suis pris de la mangue et de l'ananas avec un yaourt PAS 0% !! Le premier !!! et des petits gâteau à la noix de coco Et je valide mon 4eme jour dans compter #nightsnack #yaourt #croquelinecoco #mangue #mango #ananas #anorexierexovery #anarecovery #ana #anafight #anafighter #anorexiemental #anorexierecovery #anorexie #anorexiefight #anorexiefighter #anorexia #anorexiafight #anorexiarecovery #edrecocery #tcafight #tca #tcarecovery #troublealimenataire #troubleducomportementalimentaire #fight #fighter #fuckana

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No filter Helloooo mes ourssss j'espère que vous avez passé une bonne journée HEUH perso je suis crevée déjà que j'avais mal dormi cette nuit s'ajoute les révisions et la non motivation Brefffff flemme mais demain sportttt Et ce soir c'était souporridge à la tomate avec cette photo ça fesait un bail que j'avais pas repris de photo avec une peluche et ce fond! Bref bonne soirée #souporridge #soupopo #latergram #eat #eatingdisorder #tca #weight #ed #edfighter #edfighters #edfigh #edfight #edrecover #edrecovery #edfamily #recoveryday #recoveryfamily #recovery #recover #recovering #recoverywin #recoveryfood #ana #anorexia #anorexiafight #anorexiarecovery #anorexie #anorexiementale #anorexierestrictive

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Afternoon snack were NOT ONE BUT TWO NUTELLA PANCAKES! —————————————————————- Guys it’s so important to listen to cravings!! I was craving Nutella pancakes so bad (I think I’m developing a chocolate addiction but oh well) and now I just feel so good you know?? The second pancake I actually put Nutella in the middle while I was cooking and then when I opened it it was melted omg 🤤 BEST PANCAKES I EVER MADE

Bonjour tout le monde 🤗 Goûter du jour 🥄 Muffin aux myrtilles de chez Marc&Spencer Juste marre de me priver Mais ce n'est pas du craquage, c'est moi qui décide ce que je mange Et je pars du principe que ce n'est pas un muffin qui va me faire prendre 1 kilo ! - Ce matin donc rendez-vous chez la diététicienne . On a parlé de ma rechute, elle m'a rassurée sur des plats sur lesquels je culpabilisais, et on a mis en place des objectifs - Moins me peser - Laitage 3 fois par jour 🥛🧀 - Et juste me faire plus plaisir Et je me suis dit, pour tous ces aliments qui me font envie mais que je me refuse, pour lesquels je me dis "j'en mangerai quand je serai guérie" , je me suis dit que je pouvais commencer dès maintenant ! Alors en voici la liste : - Kinder Bueno - Kinder Country - Oreos Je suis sûre qu'il y en a d'autres mais on va commencer avec ça, déjà. Donc voilà pour aujourd'hui ! Bonne soirée à vous ... et bon appétit ! #anorexiarecovery #ana #anafight #anafighter #fuckana #fightingana #fightinganorexia #anorexia #anorexiafight #anorexiafighter #anorexie #anorexiemoncombat #anorexiementale #anorexiedefi #goutgout #muffin #muffinmyrtilles #miam

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Lunch today was this + mango and an orange! Damn I was hungry after that appointment! (As I said in my stories, it went super well! 🤘) —————————————— We talked about something today and it really made me think and question myself. I have an eating disorder. Anorexia. It has became part of me for so long. It has been me. I don’t know how to act without anorexia, I’m sure of that. But I know I have a problem, and since the moment I know, I have to fight against it. I have to grief it. I have to go to my anorexia’s self funeral and bury it deep. We all know that eating disorders have many consequences- being cold all the time, brittle nails, hair falling, thinness of course, headaches, not being able to concentrate, control, etc etc. But no one talks about the feeling of being the thinnest, the fragile feeling that we have, the power, the control, the perfeccionism, the determination. Yeah, that’s part of us. I can say that I loved being thin. But THAT IS NOT ME. I WAS NOT AT MY BEST THEN! I didn’t know who I was even, because I lost myself in the process!! FUCK YEAH RECOVERING IS SO DAMN HARD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO REINVENT YOURSELF!! ANOREXIA LOVES TO BE IN CONTROL AND QUIET! BUT DAMN WE ARE NOT AN ED! It’s time we stop acting like we are because we’re not allowing ourselves to be other things. We cannot let go of anorexia if we don’t stop wanting it!!!! Because yeah, at some point we feel like we need it. GUYS WE DONT NEED IT! IT IS POSSIBLE TO REDISCOVER AND REINVENT YOURSELF AGAIN! It will take time, willpower, tears, challenges, but along the way those tears will turn into laughs and those challenges into routines and time will help a lot. BUT IT IS POSSIBLE. YOU JUST HAVE TO START GRIEVING NOW. LET GO OF IT. YOU CAN DO IT ️ Sorry for the vent I just needed to put it into words somehow...

OMG THAT WAS A FUCKING BIG #revoverywin My AftnernoonSnack Raspberry PannaCotta Ice Cream with Grapes, Yogurette & and extra Leipniz Cookie(pic1-4) And my breakfast (pic5) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vor ein paar Tagen habe ich das Video von @claudia.luise_yt gesehen zum Thema "Pro Ana/Mia". Haltet mich für dumm aber ich wusste bis dahin nicht, dass es sowas krankes wirklich gibt. Es existieren Menschen wie wir, die um ihr Leben kämpfen um aus dieser Sache wieder heraus zu kommen & dann gibt es solche Gruppen die das unterstützen? Alleine wenn ich das höre "Angels Diet" oder "ABC" (AnaBootCamp) kommt mir das grauen. Dass es Wettbewerbe gibt, wer von Tag zu Tag am wenigsten isst, wer am meisten abgenommen hat oder was weiß ich. Das ist doch krank! Claudia hat auch einen Brief "von Ana" höchstpersönlich vorgelesen. Mir liefen die Tränen und ich hatte überall Gänsehaut! Wer zum Teufel denkt sich sowas aus? Warum möchte jmd das Leben von anderen Menschen so zerstören? Es bricht mir das Herz und macht mich echt traurig, dass es solche Menschen gibt, die andere so in den Abgrund ziehen. Aber gerade das Video hat mich angespornt noch stärker zu kämpfen https://youtu.be/2Vy4r-AKXXM

Running to my psychologist appointment because I’m already too late morning snack on the way is this! Despite feeling it is harder today for me to eat so much (because of my belly and due to being in so much pain) I’ll do my best! lol I just ran so much for the metro (completely my exercise of the year) to find out it was the wrong one...luckily I got out in time because it stopped

#lunch Un bon gros repas après ma séance de bibis ! 250gr de pomme de terre avec du tofu à l'ail des ours, de la salade avec de l'huile, et une tartine de fromage végétal au pain de seigle Puis en dessert, un sojasun, une pomme, du chocolaaatet un café ! Après midi canapé puis cuisine pour ma part. Et vous ? Bon après midi ! Des bisoooous! #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafight #fight #anorexie #fight #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edwarrior #ed #healthy #healthyfood

Good morning! ️ breakfast were Cheerios with milk plus 15 cookies of that package ——————————————- As you know, I started Minnie Maud a week ago. I started it for many many reasons and that will have to stay for another post. But I didn’t started my recovery with Minnie Maud. I am doing my weigh in every Monday, and so as today’s Monday, I already did it. ——————————————- I started my week with trouble hitting the 3000 cals (minimum) and ended it over passing 4000 with my snacking. Yes, I know I will and I’m gaining fast. But I couldn’t wait another day seeing myself being destructive and getting no where. I wanted a fast approach because I want my life back fast. And only in one week doing Minnie Maud I can genuinely say it that it saved my life- I would have gone inpatient on Thursday when I had the appointment if I hadn’t gained (not that it’s bad but it would have ruined my chances on going in Erasmus). It saved my life because I’m going back to being the joy girl I used to be. Also the girl with a round face. But who cares? People notice if I am more happy/sad. But people will not notice if I gain 1kg/500g. Even if they do...who cares? What’s the point of being unhealthily thin? Of starving? It made so much sense on my head when I was restricting but I swear to you that with proper food you start to rationalize and understand that ITS NOT WORTH IT life is man! —————————————- TW NUMBERS So I weighed myself today before breaki and I had exactly the same weight as the appointment- 46.4 (even though I gained so fast those 3,4kgs and thought it was food/water weight???) so my BMI is 17.1 and I’ll continue to give my best at recovery. Remember that “you CANNOT LIFE A FULL LIFE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH”

#breakfast ! Coucou tout le monde ! Bien dormi ? Le retour du muesli ce matin Avec un sojasun, des fruits rouges, des amandes et des baies de goji ! Tout ça avec un bon petit thé kusmi tea (le EarlGrey à la réglisse) ! Un bon petit déjeuner avant de faire une bonne séance d'épaules et de bibis ! Puis vu que je suis toute seule toute la journée, je vais rester affaler jusqu'à ce soir ! Au passage je valide ma..... 20ème #journéesanshyperactivité !! Et est ce que vous avez des idées de gâteaux/biscuits que je pourrai acheter ? Bonne journée #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafight #fight #anorexie #fight #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edwarrior #ed #healthy #healthyfood