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Relief. I wiped out my feelings. I wiped out my concerns. I wiped out my bad memories. I have finally let you go my darling. Finally, i can be myself. Finally, i can love myself. Finally, i can accept who i am. I will not let anyone to break my heart again. I will not let anyone to make me feel like i am not enough. I will not let you to wreck my confidence again. I do not need this bullshit. I do not need your pity. I do not need your two-faced character. Just go darling. Go far far far away from me darling. Remember me ; As the girl who let your sinful soul away. Fuck off my darling i do not want to hear those lies again. Do not tell me it is hard my darling. No, it is not . You made your choice. Choices make our life not GOD. Just stop blaming destiny. Fuck destiny darling. And you know what, FUCK YOU DARLING. No, do not touch me, it is not the same. You are not what you are. It was all in my head darling. You know Alice? I am a bit like her. I mean Bonkers. I imagine people as good creatures. And i imagined you as a lover. Oh, darling. Your kisses do not mean anything anymore. Darling please. JUST GET LOST.. #lust #poem ( WRITTEN BY ME ~BSK)

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"He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus. He professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking ’em he is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such volubility, that you would think truth were a fool. " #williamshakespeare

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Death opened his cruel arms Awaits for me to beg for a tangled life Shan't give him any pleasure for my harms Embraced his cold hands and taken his knife I am ready to give my soul with the all joy Not fearing from the grim mask he wears I stand like Achillies stands in Troy Said him time s up in my warfares Then he changed his mask turned into The most beauteous creature an eye can see He hold my hand exclaimed my salvation has come to The point where we cut my life tree Finally, my loyal friend now i m free I can ask them why you were so careless to me. (WRITTEN BY ME BSK~) #lust

So i asked you "Do you want me to go. If you want,i promise i will." You were mixed up in choices. You were afraid i understood that from your voice. You were afraid because you were going to lose me, you were afraid because you may have made the wrong choice. I pushed you again," Tell me! just tell me and i will be off forever". You did not like this push, either. You said you could not do this to her, she just became so happy with your one word. I said okay at the outside but inside i was screaming: You could not do this to her but to me! What did i do to you? What was my sin? I did not want to care you, i did not want to feel anything to you so why am i being punished? I thought i was being punished. I was so wrong. At first, i just called you from unknown just to hear your voice a little bit. Then, i stopped. You chose her. Yet, you still shared things about me, a song lyric from a song that i sent you, a historical place that you know i love the most in world. You wanted my attention. You made me believe that you still cared me. So i called, stupid of me. I was feeling lonely, it was unknown again but suddenly you said "i know who you are, I recognized your breathe" . How did we memorized this, i still cannot believe. Anyhow, you treat me like garbage saying that i left, saying you are being really serious with her so this is a self defence attitude to me because you did not want to attach with me again,you said you were sorry and things should be in this way. You know what hurts most you wanted me to leave. I do believe drunk people. Yet, you blame me for leaving you. I do not play reverse psychology thing, i am fully straight with these things.If someone wants to be with me then you will be with me,end of story. I do not stay when someone says leave. I just do not. This is me. I am furious because you made me feel like worthless. Just because you moved on, does not mean i should be treated as shit. Humans have feelings. Humans get upset. We are fragile. From outside i am like Berlin wall. However, even Berlin wall was destroyed. You did not care my feelings so i stopped feeling like i am being punished, i realized actually i am being protected from worse.

What if I am the one? Are you ready to take the risk of losing me? Just because you have been dating with her for a year, does not mean you made the right choice by staying with her. You cared what others think more than you cared your feelings. I know you love me, i know this also makes you heartsick. However, you just know yourself, you do not know or do not care what i feel, what i am into. Do you think it is easy for me to feel this way to a guy who is with someone else(you were not together when we met). Your family, your friends affected your mind. In fact, i am the first one to blame, believe me. I just pushed you away on purpose. My self-defense side wrote an ending to our story and i did not like the end. I could not stand living that story. Therefore, i made you to make a choice. You had to make a choice but i know not like this. Not like a drunk pusher saying "i know you are gonna choose her but make a choice, i do not care". You called me from unknown call and i just recognized your breath. God, how can i memorize someone else's breathe routine, how can i reliaze a slight giggling. In a short amount of time, how did this happen? We made a bound without noticing, both did not calculate to love or feeling. It was surprise for both of us. You desired me more than anything in this world but you knew that i would not fit your world. I was like a wild horse and not waiting for someone to tame. You knew that. You said you wished to know me before her. You wished a lot about me. You did not want to feel anything about me. Yet, you did. You were at the edge of a cliff. You thought that if you let me be in your life, you knew i was going to leave you, i was going to break you or make you the happiest, make you the luckiest. But you could not take the risk, you just could not. You were afraid of the first theory. You said everything is stabile with her, she could not make you the happiest maybe but she also could not break you. We tried to be friends and it did not work out it was obvious but we could not take the risk of losing each other. Then, when you are drunk, you said you could not stand this anymore and i believe that drunk people always tell the truth.

His hands all over my body And his words all over my heart He took me for granted And ask me for some more Yet i was nothing but a peaceful getaway In his dreadful eyes i see some play Then i rebelled against my heart Made him pay what he called art I ve killed him several times I ve killed him in me And i ve killed once more In order to convince myself that i m Over and done with bare him Yet again it occured to me that it is uneasy To erase something that is so much In such a short amount of time whilst am mazy. (WRITTEN BY ME BSK~) #lust #love #poem #bsk